Nations And Aliens Make The Best Of Friends
by IggySwitzy
Summary: It's true, that's why America and Tony are so close. Or maybe there's another reason? I don't know; but read to follow the two's crazy, unique, and rather spectacular, everyday life!
1. I want steak

Nations and Aliens Make The Best Of Friends

**A/N: Because you know it's true :) To all of my _Talk Show _followers I am sorry to say that it is gone... So enjoy this instead~! Oh yeah, for all who don't know/remember how Tony speaks, it sort of reminds me of a robot. Either think of a robot or go watch episodes with Tony in it**

**Disclaimer: I have no rights over Hetalia whatsoever... Or at least that's what my mama told me... that bloody li- Anyways, neither do I own Dragon Ball Z Ultimate Tenkaichi. Never played the game before so if something is incorrect blame my lack of proper usage of money.**

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**XxX**

America sat Indian style with his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth. A small bead of sweat trailed down his face and his eyebrows furrowed. He needed to focus… Focus…

"You lose! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA~!"

"Ugh! I worked on this part for five hours straight! Why can't I beat it?" America groaned as he tossed the controller down, stood and then stretched. He wrapped his scarf around his neck once more. _Stupid New York and their New Yorkian blizzards. _

Tony made some kind of mewl noise and reached for the Xbox controller. "Hmph, you wanna try too?" America sat back down and leaned on his elbow, his cheek being smushed in his hand. "Go ahead. If I can't do it than you probably can't either."

The gray alien just glanced back at him for a second, made a screeching sound, and then started up the game again.

Tony had begun to select Gohan but America pointed at Vegeta. "You need to use Vegeta. I saw it on a cheat sheet."

"Cheat… sheet?"

"Yeah dude. I had so much trouble with this that I had to look up cheats. Don't tell anyone… especially Japan," America pressed his index finger to his mouth. Tony blinked a couple of times before saying "I make no promises."

"Ready? Fight!" The character, Ginyu, flew straight for Vegeta. Tony blocked it with a kick to the stomach, that had Ginyu doubling over. Easily recuperating, Ginyu elbowed Vegeta in the neck, combining it with two jabs in the stomach and a knee to the chin. Vegeta's health decreased slightly.

"Stupid Ginyu. See, that's why Dragon Ball Z Ultimate Tenkaichi gets on my nerves... But look at those graphics!" America stuffed a double cheeseburger into his mouth and chewed slowly. Working his jaw muscles and savoring the delicious flavor. Mmm, pickles…

Tony inched closer to the flat screen T.V. He hadn't blink since the battle started. His fingers automatically moved, tapping the red, green, blue, and yellow buttons vigorously.

The deep blue almost purple muscle bound alien with obsidian sharp horns protruding from his skull known as Ginyu, flew into the air. He smirked, looking down at Vegeta, and then shouted "change!" An orange beam blasted out of his mouth and came towards Vegeta.

"This is the part where I kept dying, dude…" America garbled down the rest of his coke and tossed the empty cup to the side. His hand blindly reached for his Big Mac while his eyes stayed glued to the animation.

Tony 'eeped' and jammed the analogue stick to the left in an attempt to dodge the attack.

…

It worked.

"WHAT?! I tried to do that a crap load of times and it never worked! What did you do?" America's voice went dead serious. Tony just grunted and charged Vegeta up for a Galic Gun.

The Saiyan prince went purple and he shouted "GALIC GUN!" as the violet beam emitted from his hands and hit the exhausted Ginyu directly. The purple alien groaned and fell from the sky, crashing and making a dent in the Earth (or where ever they were.)

When Tony glanced back at his friend, he saw that America's jaw had dropped and he looked stunned… and a little irritated.

"H-how d-did you…?" He tried to say but was cut off when the loud "WINNER" erupted from the game. America blinked a couple of times and then shook his head. "I'm done with this game," he looked up to see Tony but all he saw was the seemingly dropped controller.

"Tony?"

"Foooood!" A clanking sound could be heard from the kitchen.

"Ha ha, I thought you got abducted by aliens for a second. Oh, crap, I didn't mean it," America said as he entered the kitchen. Tony rolled his eyes and and slammed his fork down again. "Okay, okay. What do you want?"

Tony re-adjusted his scarf. "Steak."

"Steak?! Man, that takes a lot to cook. I don't wanna."

"Make me steak!" Tony clanked the fork once more. His stomach made a long and deep growling noise and Tony glared up at America. "Hungry…"

America sighed. He pulled up a bar stool and sat beside his alien friend… what a bad idea… At once, Tony grabbed America's wrist and twisted it with all his might.

…

"Dude are you trying to crack my wrist? Because you did my fingers instead, ha ha ha." Tony gawked as America twisted his wrist successfully and cracked it. "What? Don't tell me you were actually trying?"

A blush formed across Tony's face.

"Oh ho ho ho! You're so totally weak! Pfffft," America laughed. The blush on Tony's face darkened. "Oh, my-! Am I starting to tear up?" Rubs his eyes and see a droplet, "HAHAHA I am! Pfft, that's funny~"

"Shut up," Tony growled as he rubbed his aching belly. "I still want steak."

"Why don't you go kill a cow and make some yourself?"

"…"

This time America gawked. "You wouldn't do that… would you?"

Tony shrugged, "done it before."

"BUT DUDE YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" America latched himself onto Tony's shoulders and began to sob. The alien made a 'bleh' noise and started to pry America off of him.

"WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO HURT A POOR DEFENSELESS COW?! THEY'RE LIKE LAND WHALES! AND YOU NEVER KILLED A WHALE BEFORE!"

Tony growled, "maybe I should try…"

"NOOO! YOUR BROTHER IS WHALE!"

"My who-?" Tony looked into the hallway and saw a medium size blue whale standing by the door. The whale stared back like: O _ O

"THERE! HE'S YOUR WHALE BROTHER!"

"I'm not even half whale. Nothing in me is whale! How is he my brother?!"

"BECAUSE… hmm?" America froze in his fake crying for a second. _What is a convincing way to say how they were related? Hmm~_

Tony took this moment as an escape. He halted his breathing and slowly, slowly inched farther away from America's vice grip around him. Right as he was about to slip fully from the grasp, a yellow lightbulb appeared above America's head.

"I GOT IT!"

"ARGH! So close..."

"I ADOPTED BOTH OF YOU GUYS AND THAT'S HOW YOU'RE BROTHERS! Thank you smarticles," the American snapped and then did a thumbs up.

"Dear Kami," Tony sighed as he threw his head back. Now, the whale just stared like: o_O"

Gurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp

"Steeeeeeak."

"You don't need steak."

"Steeeeeeak."

"I don't wanna."

"You make steak, now." There was a threatening tone in Tony's voice that made America shiver. He glanced back and saw a purple aura forming around the alien.

"Dude, you look like a commie," America narrowed his eyes, "are you Russia?"

The aura lightened. "What?"

America jumped out of his seat and pointed at Tony. "'Cuz if you are I swear I will shoot you in the head with Gunny."

"Gunny?"

"Oooop?" The whale asked.

"Yes, Gunny. AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE HIM ON YOU RUSSIA!" America backed away from the stool and counter. "What have you done with Tony?"

"I am Tony."

"Give me back my gray friend!"

"Ugh, you are an idiot," Tony sighed. He started pulling on his skin. "Look. Real skin; I am Tony."

A dramatic sparkle flashed across America's eyes. "You are?" He said hopefully...

…

_Blink._"Hell no."

America sprinted out the kitchen and down the left hall… He ran past the kitchen again waving and laughing nervously. "Hehe went the wrong way."

Once America was gone Tony started laughing. "Pfffft, sucker."

"Oeeeep oop eeeopp?" The whale slid over to Tony and slapped his fin against the floor.

"Nah, he's not that stupid. He'll probably just come back realizing the joke."

"Ooooeeep eop eeeeeeep ooooop."

"True dat"

At that moment America stood in the doorway, heaving and panting, while holding Gunny out toward Whaley **[A/N: Thats what I'm calling him]**and Tony.

"DIE, RUSSIA!"

"I take that back! I take that back! He's an IDIOT!" Tony screeched as he hid behind Whaley.

"OOOOEEEEP?!"

"If he shoots you'll barely get hurt…" Tony assured Whaley... So True.

"Hey! Get away from Whaley! He will not become one with you!" America cocked Gunny, the .32 Caliber, and ran over to Whaley; searching behind him to find the so-called commie.

"Stop being stupid, Alfred! I'm not Russia!"

"Says the Russian!" America had found Tony and was about to shoot but the alien slipped away. "How are you so small but fat when not disguised?"

"BECAUSE I'M NOT RUSSIA!"

"Fat?"

Whaley, America and Tony froze. Each turned their head slowly and saw the REAL Russia standing in the doorway. "So you're not Russia?"

"What did I tell you earlier?! NO!"

"Ooeep!" Whaley started to slide away. America flipped around and pointed the gun at Russia. "How did you get into my house?"

"Your door was open. You should be more careful, strangers and murderers may walk in, da?"

"LIKE YOU?"

"No, you know me fairly well. Hmm," Russia looked around the kitchen. "You have a nice house. I like."

"No, you don't like. Now get out." America lightly tapped the trigger on Gunny. He saw a small layer of sweat start to form on Russia's face. "Ha! Are you scared? If you are than I reckon you leave dis here house and stay faaar away."

"What's with the country accent?"

"I don't know, it just came to me," America whispered to Tony. He then looked back at Russia, who had taken a seat cozily at the counter.

"Why are you sitting at MY counter?!"

"I was tired of standing, da?"

"Go finish standing!" America pointed toward the hallway. "Go."

"I don't wanna."

"And I don't wanna make Tony any steak but I have to." _Steak? Did he just say steak?_Thought Tony. "But now that you're here Tony's steak is gonna have to wait until you leave."

"What does that have to do with m-"

"Steeeeeeak~"

Russia and America both turned to look back at Tony. He had taken a dark blue aura and had two fingers from each hand pressing against his temple. "I WANT STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK!"

A force had Russia strewn into the air and propelled out of the house.

"Dude! That was wicked cool! How did you do it?!" America crouched down to be on eye level with Tony.

"Ooooeeep oop oop eeeoeeep ee," Whaley had came back into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I did use echo location. But I used telekinesis mostly."

"Television? How did you use T.V.?"

"No, tele-key-niece-sis. It's moving things with my mind," Tony explained. America just said "huh?" and then started toward the deep freezer.

"I don't know. I would've said that was magic but England's the only one who believe in that mess. Hey, speaking of England, I wonder what that Brit's doing?"

"Making me steak," Tony's stomach growled and he picked up a butcher knife. "Cook steak now."

"Okay, okay. Hmph, hungry bastard…"

"What did'ya say?"

"Nothing!" America said while hurriedly pulling out a pack of steak and setting it on the chopping board. "Stupid…alien…Tony…England…France…communist…" He mumbled to his self while punching the raw meat.

"Oooop eeop?"

Tony patted the empty space beside him. "I'll only give you a tiny piece, alright?"

"Ooooep!"

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**A/N: End! So you see that box thingy (for PC) and blue button that says review (for mobile users)? Well, that's where you go to answer this question... How was it? Seriously, tell me. I'll love to know :D And now that that's over; thank you for reading! **

**~ Iggy Out**


	2. Slender Man

Nations and Aliens Make The Best Of Friends

**A/N: Speaking of aliens, there's this AMAZING spray paint artist on Youtube, his name is Spacepainter. He's my inspiration for art**

**Disclaimer: Hetalia is so totally mine... I mean not, NOT! Oh yeah, and I don't know politics nor do I like it. This is all one big _joke...JOKE. _I am not influencing election votes in any kind of way...Pffft most of ya'll probably aren't even old enough to vote :P (Can't talk I'm way young)...(Not that much)**

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It all began with a steak out. One simple activity gone bad. But you wanna know what the good part was? Obama was there to witness it all!

**~ 1 hour earlier ~ **

"Duude, that was creepy,"

"mhmm," Tony and Whaley agreed as they chewed on their stake. After the whole Russia incident, America had decided to apologize to his friends by cooking stake. For everyone! Even those nasty neighbors that complained about America to the police all the time! he was _that _apologetic. Now the whole neighborhood was all like "thank you Alfie" and "you're too kind" and "America is so friggin' awesome that it makes me wanna slap my mama." And now America was the -ish in town. Fo' realz.

There was knock on the door and America groaned as he rose from his seat. "I'm not serving anymore food if that's what you fat bastards want!" (He wasn't in much of a pleasant/apologetic mood anymore.)

"We just wanted to thank you! The food was delicious!" Came the all too familiar voices of the neighbors. They wouldn't be _that _bad if they didn't report every single thing that America would do. And they're racist. Alien racist.

"Yeah, yeah you told me that about a hundred times now! Literally, I've been counting! Now leave the amazing hero alone!" Alfred shouted as he opened the front door just to slam it in their faces. Right as he was shutting it he caught a glimpse of the man pulling out his cellphone and frowning. Probably about to call the police.

"Neighbors?" Tony asked when he saw America looking distressed and nibbling on his steak.

"The Nasties." Alfred mumbled as he chewed slowly. Whaley rubbed his cheek against the side of America's face in an attempt to comfort him. It just mushed the nation's face and made him look depressed.

"Want me to abduct them?"

"Oooeep!"

"Nah, they'll just call the Space Police on me..."

"Nasty bastards..."

All three of them sat quietly in their seats, slicing or poking their food but not eating. About ten minutes of agonizingly depressed/concentrated-thought-on-murdering-a-certain-pair-of-neighbors _cough_***Tony***_cough _silence had passed when Whaley decided to suggest something.

"Oeep eeoop oeeooop?"

"Uno?"

"What a great idea!" America slammed his hands down and in a hyper frenzy ran out of the kitchen to go find the card game. Tony sighed and picked up the plates and glasses to clear the table.

Once everything was cleaned Tony sat back down and looked around. "What's taking him so long?"

"Oeeep oop ee?"

"Probably. That idiot would have a hard time figuring out which game is Uno." The grey alien laughed, "He's probably stuck between Life and Monopoly."

"Oeeep," _I don't think so. _

At that moment America ran back into the kitchen out of breath and sweating. "I had a hard time finding which one was Uno," he said while taking his seat between Whaley and Tony. "I was looking at Monopoly and Life, but I couldn't decide which was Uno, so I called England and asked him."

Tony gave Whaley a look that clearly read 'I told you so".

"And guess what! he started calling me an idiot and that the game Uno would have the word 'Uno' on the front! How would I had known that? I don't speak Spanish, leave that for France." Tony and Whaley face palmed.

"Baka," Tony whispered as he started to shuffle and pass out the cards. america stared intensely at the stack in front of him. So many blues... "Hey! You cheated!"

Tony glared at America, "what the fuck are you talking about? You saw me shuffle them, dumb-ass."

"I have too many of one color! You used your alien powers to give me more of one color than others!"

"Of course you're not gonna have an equal amount of colors! It's unlikely!"

"But not impossible," America stated, leaving Tony to wonder why he ever wanted to land on this planet. He would've been left...but who would be there to protect Whaley from the idiot?

"Oeeep." Whaley slapped down a yellow four. America, being the smart-ass genius, threw down two fours, one yellow the other blue. _Plan A: Get rid of my blues. _

...

"Why are there so many blues? I don't have any!" The personification of America was leaning over the table and pretend weeping as he had went along with Plan A and now needed his blues. Tony had only one card left, Whaley with two, and our precious America...eight. "This is so unfaaaaaaair~"

"You should've played smart and not give away all of your blues at once," Tony grunted as he had to draw another card. It was a green five, perfect. If Tony gets the chance of putting down both fives he'd win...and be able to shove it in America's fat face.

"Oeeep,' Whaley said as he put down a red +2 card. He watched as America fumbled through his eight, trying to find a way out of taking two more cards.

...

"Yay!" A blue +2 card was thrown down to counter Whaley's attack and pass it on to Tony. Said grey alien, once realizing this, threw his cards down with a loud "fuck it!" escaping his mouth. "Aw, come on Tony! You can still win."

"Fuck you, fat ass."

"Hey! I take offense to that!" America patted his stomach, "I'm not that fat..."

Whaley just stared like O_O, not at America and Tony, but at the figure standing in the hallway. Mind you, it's night time and the three of them were suppose to be _alone _in the house. No fourth guest.

"Oeeeeeeep!" Whaley screeched as he slid behind America. the American was confused at first, until he saw the figure himself.

"What the hell it's Slender Man!" Alfred looked around hurriedly, "where's Gunny?" He quickly stood and dashed around the kitchen, searching for his best weapon. The figure was walking towards them, all sickly and crap, and waving it's arms.

Tony was now re-entering the kitchen. From all the noise the only thing that registered in Tony's ears was 'Gunny'. "What's going on- Oh God is that Slender Man?!" In a second the alien was hid behind Whaley, poking his head out just enough to see.

The figure was frantically waving it's arms and shouting something...Something along the lines of "I'm not Slender Man! I'm the president, Obama!" as Alfred pointed the handgun at it's head.

"You can't fool me! I'm Mr. America!" He was about to rip off his shirt and pants but realized that Slender Man was worthy of seeing his sexy body in costume. So instead he just posed. A very heroic and none idiotic pose. With both thumbs up. Like a hero...

The figure entered the kitchen's light...and looked exactly like Barack Obama! Like it was the real Prez and not a supernatural demon! But that didn't fool America! 'Cuz he's totally awesome like that. "I'm too awesome to be fooled by you Slender! Just because you look like Obama doesn't mean you are him!"

Tony had crawled away from Whaley and was starring at America like -_- _Is this idiot for real? _"He's not Slender man."

"Gasp!" America said, literally, "How do you know? Slender Man could've eaten him and taken over the president's body...I knew I couldn't trust the government!" America was about to shoot when a hand reached out towards him. "Don't touch me!" He cowered away but then composed himself.

"I can prove to you that I'm not Slender Man! Ask me some quest-"

"Who created McDonalds?"

_Deadpan. _"What?"

"Who created McDonalds, Slender Man?!"

"Ray Kr-"

"Wrong! It was me! I fuckin' OWN McDonalds!" Because ya'know, it's _in _America.

"He's the president, stupid," Tony was about to snatch Gunny from America's hand but the nation started pacing around Obama. "Who is Mitt Romney?"

"My...lets say, opponent. He's Republican-"

"Yes, yes, but _who is Mitt Romney?" _

"I-I don't understand your question?"

"WHO IS MITT ROMNEY? THE REAL ONE!"

"Oeep?" Whaley had also crawled out of his hiding place and was now wondering what his owner was yapping about. While Obama (Slender Man?) was answering America's question, nobody noticed a strange tall shadow roam down the hall and stand by the door.

Tony was the first to see it, "uh, who's that?"

"And that's why you shouldn't vote for Romney, he's bad for the- Oh dear-"

"It's the real Slender Man! WTFH!" America accidentally dropped Gunny but was too afraid to pick him up. Obama ran across the room and hid behind America and Tony, who were currently frozen in fear.

"S-S-Slender?"

"Fuck you Slender Man!" Tony was about to use his alien powers when the figure walked into the kitchen. "Local town police, I'm here with a complaint."

...

-_- "STUPID NASTY NEIGHBORS SCARED ME TO DEATH!"

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**A/N: Im mega slow for writing that XD Oh well, Review~**


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